Thursday, July 31, 2008

Disaster Movie: Oh the irony.

If you haven't seen the trailer for Disaster Movie, odds are your eyes are still in their sockets. Personally, I gouged mine out along with everyone else in the theatre the minute this bad boy came on screen. Even when I watched it on TV in my living room during a commercial break it still made me feel awkward and embarrassed. Like I'd done something wrong.

See for yourself:

You're welcome.

The trailer itself begs a lot of questions. How did this movie get green-lit? Who managed to read through the entire script without lighting it on fire and burning their house down? And finally, where do I find the studio executive who said, "This is comedy gold. This needs to be seen." I want to kill his family.

Okay relax, I don't really want to kill his family... probably because I haven't seen the whole movie, but still. Anyway, I have a theory on why stupid movies continue to make money. See below:

People are un-smart.

Now I think it's safe to say that this woman doesn't really believe that elephants are larger than the moon. Odds are she just wasn't paying attention. But doesn't that require a certain kind of stupidity in and of itself? Why go to all the trouble of getting yourself on a game show if you're not even gonna take a few seconds to read all of your choices. "Elephant! I know this one! It's elephant! Trust me, Regis! I don't even need to see the other choices. Elephants are freakin' HUGE, okay! I mean good luck thinking of something BIGGER than an elephant, am I right?!!! LOL!!!"

Simply put, stupid movies keep making money because stupid people keep watching them.

The average American IQ is 98, lower than almost every other country that isn't considered "third world". So it should come as no surprise that movies like Beverly Hills Chihuahua and Wild Hogs do so well at the box office. I only ask that movie theaters start giving non-retards some kind of pre-trailer warning. Here's an example:

click to read
Is this too much to ask?


Deanna said...

Yeah, and Cloverfield was awesome!

The Swinson Family said...

hey chris! its Lora :) you know, your sister. we have a blog too so go look! :)

Anonymous said...

Ok, I have a confession to make...Gary, Corey and I DEFINITELY went to see the last two craptastic movies these guys put out (read: Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans) Before you judge, it is a new tradition we started. And yes, we always hate ourselves afterward and swear that we will never see another, but I guess we are just gluttons for punishment, because we are ABSOLUTELY going to see Disaster Movie with Corey. Please dont hate us....we hate ourselves enough for this already. You and Lindsey are welcome to join us if you want in on this action. IF not, I would prefer that you not tell's our deepest, most shameful secret.

On another note, welcome to the blogging world! I thought I should tell you though, your blogging "noobness" is showing because none of your links are set up right...I expected more from a guy who works on a computer for a living :) Oh, and Dexter is officially o our Netflix!

Chris said...

I know what you mean, Holly. Some movies are so bad they're good. If you haven't seen Alone in the Dark it's definitely on that list. Rent it if you want a good laugh. Oh and keep me posted on Dexter. I want to know what you guys think. (but only if you love it)

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